Day two

Started my new medicine today praying to God that they work on this anxiety that I have before my trip. My best friend called me very sad and I was able to keep my wits about me. Her sister died last month and she is still having trouble replaying the talk they had before her sister died in her mind. I understand this and I go to the process of making up stories of things I see and do before they actually happened Life is so crazy for me right now and I just want the anxiety to end so my life can be normal again.

Another Day

I had some notes for crying the other day but I did not feel like writing. Saturday was the worst. I cried so hard I couldn’t drive and had to stop at my brother Dwight’s house to calm down. It was horrible. My doctor changed my meds today and I am hoping this works as I leave to go out of town on Sunday. Florida for five weeks with my job.
I think at some point i need to come back and expound on some of these writings to help give you a better picture of my life and the struggles of everyday life for me as I try to change to focus on me and not everyone else.

I can’t explain what’s wrong with me.

I keep messing myself up and I know its called an ULP (Upper Limit Problem) but i keep doing things like getting my nedicine adjusted which caused issues and then I am going out of town for a few weeks. That is making me really nervous but it’s in Florida so lucky me.
People are telling me to make new friends because I don’t have many but I don’t know how to start that process. I need a boyfriend(lol).

I am going to try and write it down so I can see when I go wrong.

Life is crazy

Yes my life is crazy and I pobably create the problems but that’s ok. I try my best to live life to the fullest but I always get caught up in someone elses story and my story gets screwed up. Well now I am trying to make my life all about me for a change. I hope I can do and If I don’t I have people reading this to say”Lisa get do you”.

So my medicine has been updated since I suffer from major depression. It has put fluid on my legs and when I take my walks it feels like I am pulling anchors. But I am better today and I hope it last because girlfriend is headed to the beach on Monday and I want to have fune and not worry about swollen ankles. I keep you posted on how things are since I packed yesterday and only have a few things left to get together.

Happy

Clap along if you feel that happiness is the truth.clap clap cause I'm happy

Life is good for the moment

Up until now... UP TIL NOW It has been a crazy summer and very sad. I lost a friend and the mother of my niece and nephew. Also her youngest daughter was with her and was murdered also. My question was how dare he? Take the life of a very special young lady and her baby girl who had been through so much the first year of her life. She had been in the hospital until April then she had to go back and .She also had her arm amputated and was on oxygen. So How dare he and this was his daughter. I getting even more angry so on to something else. I went on my first cruise this year. It was Carnival Valor cruise. It started of that I was not having a good time and it was boring. Then we started our excursion on Half Moon Cay it was not great I got sick and dehydrated and almost fainted. But after that it was great. We Also went to St.Thomas and San Juan, Puerto Rico then Gran Turk was our final stop. We had two days at sea one at the beginning of the trip and one at the end. Before my cruise at the end of September I also had a weekend at Myrtle Beach.We Stayed at Breakers right on the beach and I went on a gambling ship out to sea.

Understanding

Well I am going to start off saying I don't understand. My schizophrenic brother always finds fault with my older brother and I don't know why. I mean I can say I did it and he still blames our older brother who is by the 9 and 10 years older than we are.He takes no responsibility, he is selfish