What is wrong with me?

The biggest question in the world. What is wrong? I don't know. I mean there're a lot of reasons things are happening there are a lot of explanations but I don't know what they are I just got blown everyday. I shed a few tears I do my breathing exercises. Nothing seems to work just seems to be never ending I just don't know me there has to be an into this these feelings these emotions that I'm having coming there has to be a I have to feel normal again at some point in time I mean I'm getting therapy. But I still have all of these questions and all these thoughts moving around in my head and my stomach in chest and throat are always in knots I feel like I'm just full of emotions. Why these emotions won’t let me go I know everybody has them most I know everybody has to feel a certain way why can I feel that way and feel normal. I'm taking deep breath here because I'm trying to soothe my soul I've been wanting to cry all day I have shed a few tears but it didn't seem like it now it never seems like enough. Maybe one morning I wake up and feel wonderful for more than just a day or two I want to feel wonderful for the rest of my life and I hope and pray that happens and I wish that you would pray that that happens for me too. Thank you

Saturday Dec. 15

It has been a pretty good day.Don Johnson’s birthday lol. I have been out all day and my anxiety has been function pretty good. I took my sister to the doctor she has a cyst on her stomach and I didn’t go into straight panic mode when she called me. I normally feel that I need to take over and be in charge of everything. I didn’t’t do it. Yeah me!!!

Hopefully I will get to see Nick my friend pretty soon. I really miss him and I had some trouble dealing with that. I was in denial that I want to see him again. Hopefully we will make it happen.

I just don’t know

I just don't know what's going. One minute I'm fine in the next minute I feel like I'm lost and Anxious. I mean I have my therapy I take my medication and still just don't feel right I'm trying to find things to do my swimming lessons and then I'm going to start those back I just want this I Just want this feeling to go away I want to feel again. So hopefully when I go to the doctor on the 17th everything will now and she'll give me something that's going to work for more than a month so I can just feel excited I want to feel like taking a bath I want to not have the anxiety anything I can sleep late without feeling bad. I just feel I’d rather be sick than feel this emptiness inside me I just just wanted to go away it just makes me really really sad.